The USS Logic is currently engaged in a gravitationally challenged conflict with the USS Flat Earth Society.
Mission Objective: Survive a conversation with someone who insists the Earth is flatter than a pancake at an IHOP all-you-can-eat special.
Current Status: Brain cells at 23% integrity. Sanity shields failing.
It started innocently enough. I mentioned booking a flight overseas. “Oh, flights? You know they just fly in circles, right? Because the Earth is flat.”
...Initiate deep breaths, Captain. Remember your training.
I tried to steer the conversation to science, geography, basic kindergarten globe lessons.......but no. I was sucked into a vortex of YouTube conspiracy links and arguments that went something like.....
"If the Earth is round, why don’t we fall off Australia? Checkmate."
At this point, the crew and I initiated Operation.......Nod and Smile, it failed. They doubled down. "NASA? Faked. Photos of Earth? CGI. Gravity? Just density and buoyancy, bro."
Density and buoyancy, bro.
The phrase now haunts me. I hear it when I close my eyes.
As of this log entry, I’ve experienced a level of cognitive dissonance that can only be described as mental vertigo. Irony noted.
The conversation ended with “Do your own research” and an offer to join a Facebook group where people share grainy cell phone photos of sunsets to “prove” the sun doesn’t go anywhere.
Captain out. Prepping escape pod with coffee and an astrophysics textbook for emotional support.
P.S. If Earth is flat, I’m heading for the edge. Maybe there’s peace there. Or at least fewer conspiracy theories.
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