(Because “work ethics” is just another way of saying “surviving in controlled chaos.”)

1. What are your core work values?

We believe in innovation, efficiency, and pretending we have our lives together. Our team thrives on problem-solving, caffeine, and sheer willpower. If something doesn’t work, we’ll either fix it, repurpose it, or pretend it was never broken in the first place.

2. How do you handle deadlines?

We take deadlines very seriously. We acknowledge them. We stare at them. We procrastinate until the pressure is unbearable, and then we pull off a miraculous last-minute victory that makes us question why we didn’t just start earlier. It’s called the "panic-induced productivity method," and we are its masters.

3. What’s your leadership philosophy?

Our leadership style is best described as "benevolent chaos." We believe in creative freedom, as long as the work gets done. We don’t micromanage, we just silently judge from afar and send passive-aggressive GIFs when something isn’t finished.

4. How do you approach teamwork?

We believe in collaboration and shared suffering. Everyone contributes their strengths, and we all collectively take credit for anything that accidentally goes right. If something fails, it was probably a “team learning experience” (or the intern’s fault, we blame them when necessary).

5. What is your office culture like?

Imagine a mix between a startup, a sitcom, and a mildly dysfunctional family. We support each other, roast each other, and occasionally engage in deeply philosophical debates about whether a hotdog is a sandwich. No day is the same, except for the recurring moment when someone yells “WHO BROKE THE WEBSITE?!”

6. What’s the company policy on working remotely?

Our remote work policy is simple: Get the job done, and we don’t care where you are. Beach? Fine. Coffee shop? Great. A cave guarded by raccoons? As long as there’s WiFi. The only requirement is that your “camera accidentally stopped working” at least once per meeting.

7. How do you deal with workplace stress?

We rely on a scientifically proven (aka completely made-up) stress management system that includes:

• Complaining in the company group chat
• Consuming an unhealthy amount of caffeine
• Using humor as a coping mechanism
• Deep sighing at our screens until the problem magically fixes itself

8. What’s your policy on work-life balance?

We firmly believe in work-life balance… in theory. In reality, we’ll send you an email at 2 AM, but it’s your choice whether to respond immediately or question our sanity. We respect boundaries, but also expect you to remember that “I didn’t see your message” is the corporate equivalent of “my dog ate my homework.”

9. Do you have an official dress code?

Yes. It’s called "whatever doesn’t scare the neighbors." If you’re working remotely, pajamas are acceptable, but please wear real clothes for Zoom meetings… or at least a decent shirt.

10. How do you define success?

Success is when:

• The website doesn’t crash (for more than five minutes).
• The investors don’t run away mid-meeting.
• The coffee machine works.
• Nobody cries before noon.

Basically, if we’re still standing at the end of the day, we call it a win.

(Because what we do is complicated, but at least we make it sound fun.)

📡 Tech Wizardry & Digital Sorcery

"We speak fluent code, caffeine, and chaos."
We take your wildest tech ideas and turn them into something that mostly works. Whether it’s AI development, web platforms, or fixing that “small bug” that somehow crashes everything, we do it all. If it involves technology, we’ll build it, break it, fix it, and then pretend it was fine the whole time.

💡 Bonus: If your project requires something completely unrealistic, we will still say yes and figure it out later.

🎨 Pixel-Perfect, Ish (AKA Design Services)

"Making things look pretty since forever… and also fixing bad color choices."
You know that ugly website your cousin made in 2008? Yeah, we can fix that. Whether you need a brand identity, a sleek website, or an app that won’t make users cry, our design team will craft something that makes you look more professional than you probably are.

🚨 Warning: If you insist on Comic Sans or neon green as your brand color, we reserve the right to mock you endlessly.

💰 Business Strategy & Corporate Shenanigans

"Helping you sound smart in meetings since 1999."
Got a great idea but no clue how to make money from it? No problem! We provide business consulting, growth strategies, and investor pitch guidance, all with just the right amount of BS to make it sound impressive. We’ll help you avoid classic mistakes, like thinking “if we build it, they will come” (spoiler: they won’t).

📈 Bonus: We’ll even teach you how to nod intelligently in meetings when you have no idea what’s happening.

📢 Public Relations & Crisis Management (Because Someone Will Say Something Dumb)

"We make you look good, even when you don’t."
Need to build your reputation, craft the perfect message, or do damage control because someone went rogue on Twitter? We’ve got you. Our PR experts handle press releases, media relations, branding, and even the occasional PR disaster that was definitely not your fault (…but totally was).

🚨 If you’ve already started a social media war, we charge double.

📊 Marketing & Brand Sorcery

"We’ll make you famous. Or at least, internet famous."
We craft marketing strategies that actually work, social media plans that won’t make you look desperate, and branding that makes people say, “Wow, they must be legit.” We understand digital trends, SEO, and the dark arts of making people click on things they never knew they needed.

📢 Warning: If you insist on posting cringe corporate memes, we may need to stage an intervention.

📈 Business Development & Money-Making Magic

"Helping your business grow… preferably into an empire."
We don’t just come up with strategies that sound good on paper, we create real, money-making plans that actually work. Whether it’s expanding your market, finding new customers, or convincing investors that your idea is the next big thing, we make sure your business doesn’t just survive but thrives.

💸 Bonus: If your plan involves “going viral,” we will politely explain why that is not, in fact, a business strategy.

🛠️ AI & Automation (Because Humans Are Tired)

"Let the robots do it, just not the evil kind."
We build AI that helps you, not the kind that secretly plots your downfall. Whether it’s customer service bots, AI-powered analytics, or automation that replaces mind-numbing tasks, we make sure your AI works smarter, not harder.

🤖 Note: If your AI starts developing an attitude, that’s on you. We just built it.

🔐 Cybersecurity & Digital Fortification

"Keeping hackers out, keeping your embarrassing emails in."
Our security team specializes in keeping your data safe, your website unhackable, and your passwords stronger than “password123.” We’ll set up firewalls, encryptions, and security protocols that even the FBI would have trouble cracking (not that we’re testing that).

🚨 If you reuse the same password for everything, we will judge you.

🤝 Sales & The Art of Convincing People to Give You Money

"We could sell ice to penguins, but ethically, we won’t."
Need a sales strategy that doesn’t feel like an infomercial? We’ll help you turn leads into customers, customers into loyal fans, and loyal fans into people who won’t shut up about your brand.

💸 Bonus: If you’re bad at closing deals, we can train you to sound like you know what you’re doing.

💾 IT Support & Tech Therapy

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"
Whether you’re dealing with slow computers, bad WiFi, or software that refuses to cooperate, we’re here to help. We’ll fix your tech issues while resisting the urge to scream, “Why would you click that?!”

📞 If you call us in a panic, we will first ask if you’ve restarted your device. If you haven’t, we will judge you.

🚀 Startup Launch & “Why Did I Do This?” Consulting

"Helping dreamers, founders, and sleep-deprived entrepreneurs since forever."
Got an idea for the next big thing? We help startups build, launch, and survive without imploding. Whether you need tech, funding strategies, or just someone to convince your team that yes, this is actually a good idea, we’ve got you.

⚠️ Side effects may include: Success, exhaustion, and the sudden realization that you should have started this five years ago.

Want to Work With Us?

We’re here to build, fix, automate, secure, market, and make your business look way smarter than it actually is. Contact us today, and let’s make some magic happen (or at least make you sound really impressive in front of investors).

📩 Shoot us an email, carrier pigeon, or just shout into the void, whatever works for you.

(Because chaos without structure is just… more chaos.)

1. Meetings Should Have a Purpose (And That Purpose Shouldn’t Be “Wasting Everyone’s Time”).

If you schedule a meeting that could have been an email, we reserve the right to mute you and send you a strongly worded GIF in Slack.

2. If You Say "It’s a Simple Fix," You Have to Fix It Yourself.

We’ve learned the hard way that “simple” is a lie. If you utter these cursed words, congratulations, you just volunteered.

3. All Passwords Must Be Secure, and No, “1234” Does Not Count.

If your password is weak enough for a toddler to guess, we will publicly shame you. If you forget your password, we will first mock you, and then help you reset it.

4. The Coffee Maker Is Sacred. Respect It or Perish.

If you take the last cup and don’t refill the pot, you’re banned from the break room. If you break the coffee maker, you’re banned from life.

5. Whoever Breaks the Website Must Buy Donuts for the Team.

It’s the price we pay for living on the edge. If you crash the site, it’s on you to supply morale-boosting carbs.

6. If You Don’t Know What You’re Doing, Just Google It First.

Before asking a question, try typing it into Google. If Google doesn’t know, then you may ask a human.

7. The WiFi Is Sacred. If It Goes Down, We Riot.

No WiFi means no work, which means we are officially in apocalypse mode. Everyone for themselves.

8. We Are a Team, Unless There’s Free Snacks.

Teamwork is great, but if someone brings free snacks, it’s every person for themselves. No loyalty. No friendships. Only hunger.

9. If You Accidentally "Reply All," You Must Live With the Shame.

There’s no undo button in real life. If you hit "Reply All" on a pointless email, we will let you suffer in silence.

10. If You Don’t Know What You’re Doing, Just Act Confident.

Most of us are just winging it. If you mess up, do it with enough confidence that people think it was intentional.